


watching stars collide

by miss_coverly



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Beach arc, Dancing, F/M, Fireworks, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mid-Canon, Missing Scene, Mutual Pining, because i have, have u considered kyoru beach flirting but at night with 10000x level yearning?, kyo is a lesbian so i gave him a flannel.....you're welcome, yes i rly went there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_coverly/pseuds/miss_coverly
Summary: Tohru sticks to lighting sparklers when they get down to the beach. The night is close to black, but one after another, the fireworks ignite the air with little peaks and valleys of light. Kyo kicks off his shoes and ends up sitting at the edge of the shoreline. Tohru watches as he skips stones across the water. She lights a new firework, and sparks illuminate the curve of his back, the shade of his hair like something that burns.The sparkler burns out gently in her hand. She burns a little bit, too.--On the last night of summer vacation, Kyo and Tohru light fireworks on the beach at 3 a.m. and avoid the sparks.
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou
Comments: 34
Kudos: 81





	watching stars collide

**Author's Note:**

> it would be cute if i finished literally any of my other in-progress fics but in the meantime here!! have whatever this is instead. happy 2021 to u all
> 
> ty annabelle for bouncing ideas with me ily!!! <3
> 
> title is from [shallows](https://open.spotify.com/track/6rhEGvWq4CtJJt6ezJIjxf) by daughter. i actually found inspiration in a LOT of songs for this fic, so because i am me i made a lil [fic mix](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4W1MP2erbKR02IJmXtcKFG) lol. give it a listen while you read if you’d like :’))

_dry your smoke-stung eyes  
_ _so you can see the light  
_ _staring at the sky  
_ _watching stars collide,  
_ _watching stars_

* * *

At night, Tohru falls asleep easily to the soft lull of the beach's tide.

She has every night of their summer trip—but they're leaving tomorrow, and the ebb and flow of the current is _heavy_. It wakes her harshly, disrupts her thoughts and refuses to let her drift off again. It threatens to drown her in a dread that's too far between sleep and wakefulness to properly be called either.

Push and pull, coming and going, staying and leaving—

Tohru opens her eyes to stare up at the ceiling, and the emptiness grows even with the soft glow of night flitting through the curtains. She curls onto her side, and that's when it catches her eye: light peaking through at the bottom of the guest room door.

She doesn't know exactly where she's headed, but she moves carefully. She peels back the corner of the duvet as she gets out of bed, and she checks every few seconds that she hasn't woken Momiji or Kisa. The light leads her down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Hey," he says.

He's sitting alone at the table, wearing pajamas and a flannel shirt that he probably pulled on because he woke up cold. A lamp illuminates his ruffled hair and half of his face—and she swears that when she looks at Kyo nowadays, there's too much in his expression for her to make sense of. It hollows her out, fills her with warmth, leaves her empty all over again.

"Hi." She takes a seat next to him and sees his plate. "Oh, did you make pancakes again?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were hungry! I would've made them for you if I knew you were awake," Tohru says instantly, but Kyo shakes his head.

"I wasn't gonna wake you up to cook for me, dummy," he says. "Figured I could make them easy enough on my own."

His plate is almost empty by this point, but it makes Tohru smile—pancakes cut into neat squares, a tiny pool of syrup confined to the edge of the plate.

"That's sweet, Kyo-kun," she beams. "And you did a good job, really!"

Kyo rubs the back of his neck, and maybe his cheeks dust a bit pink, too. "Yeah, well. I was hungry, okay?" he says quickly. "Why are you up, anyway? It's past midnight. That's late, even for you."

Tohru's eyes find _3:14 A.M._ reflecting back at her from the clock on the stove. "Oh, right," she says. "I guess I couldn't sleep."

"Yeah?" He stabs another piece of pancake with his fork.

"I don't… know why."

"You don't? You're probably just feeling weird because we're leaving tomorrow."

"That makes sense," she shrugs, laughing a bit too cheerfully for the dim lights and how closely they're sitting. "Just anxious about going home."

_About time passing and everything changing and everyone leaving—_

"Hey, don't freak out about it."

"Sorry," Tohru blurts out. "I don't mean to worry you."

"You're not."

She feels Kyo's fist gently knock against her forehead. It brings her back to reality, in a way—makes her _feel_ her tense shoulders, her slightly fidgeting hands. She hadn't noticed her anxieties taking on a physical shape. Her eyes going out-of-focus, the future hanging over their heads like a rain cloud.

"It's not the end of the world," he says, his hand lingering against her hair. "You can probably come back with everyone next summer, anyways."

Tohru can't find the words to respond as Kyo grabs his now empty plate, gets up and walks over to the sink. It's the worst thing she's ever felt—and it takes root in her stomach, curling in her gut like nausea.

The only sound in the room is the stream of water in the sink, the quiet clack of his fork against his plate as he scrubs and rinses them. She swears the scratch that Akito left on her cheek stings just a bit more than usual.

_He can't come back next summer if he's—_

Tohru darts out of her seat. "I have an idea."

"Huh?"

"We had a few fireworks left from earlier tonight, didn't we?" she asks. "Let's go set them off on the beach!"

He puts his plate away in the cupboard, looking at Tohru like she's grown a second head. "Are you crazy? You wanna wake up the entire house?"

"We didn't have very many left," she says, coming closer until she's right next to him. "It was mostly small ones, too—nothing big enough to make a ton of noise." She takes Kyo's hands in her own without thinking—they're still a bit wet from the dishwater. Like he might slip through her fingers.

"I just think it would make a nice end to the trip," she says. "If you wanted to. If not, that's okay too—"

"Nah, we can," Kyo says. She can feel his pulse jackrabbit against her skin, but tells herself that it's her imagination. "Still. Blowing shit up when no one else is around… seems…"

"Seems what?"

Kyo crosses his arms, looking away as he frowns. "I don't know," he mutters. "Dangerous."

"Kyo-kun." Tohru grins. "Are you scared of fireworks?"

" _No._ "

"Not even a little bit?"

"I'm not!" Kyo says, face flushing.

Tohru giggles. "Cute."

"Shut up."

* * *

Tohru sticks to lighting sparklers when they get down to the beach. The night is close to black, but one after another, the fireworks ignite the air with little peaks and valleys of light. Kyo kicks off his shoes and ends up sitting at the edge of the shoreline. Tohru watches as he skips stones across the water. She lights a new firework, and sparks illuminate the curve of his back, the shade of his hair like something that burns.

The sparkler burns out gently in her hand. She burns a little bit, too.

He looks over his shoulder as she approaches, sand sliding beneath her uneven footfalls.

"Having fun, pyro?" he asks, and Tohru laughs.

"I am," she says, sitting down next to him. "Still fighting the ocean?"

Kyo snorts. "Yeah, and I'm winning." He flings another rock into the waves. It briefly skids along the water before quickly sinking.

"Of course you are," Tohru says, trying to stifle her giggles as his face turns red. After a moment, she holds out a sparkler to him. "Do you want to light one?" she asks. "If you're not _too_ scared of fireworks, I mean."

"Just give me the damn thing," he mutters, and their fingers brush as he plucks the firework from her hand. She takes out the lighter they found in the kitchen drawer; she lights a new sparkler for herself, then carefully lights Kyo's as well.

He watches it flicker in front of him, and she watches the sparks reflect in his eyes. Her pajamas are getting damp from sitting in the sand, but Tohru finds she doesn't mind it. She's just trying to find a dryer spot as she adjusts where she sits, she tells herself—as she scoots closer to Kyo.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Being near the water." She points down, at the way he keeps his feet just out of the tide's reach. She didn't think of it before asking him to come down to the beach. It's not cold outside, but she feels chilled by the sight.

He shakes his head. "I'm fine, really," he says. "As long as I don't swim. It's not raining, either."

"Okay," she smiles at him. "If you're sure."

Kyo's sparkler settles down to a gentle glow, and he looks at her. "What about you?"

Tohru blinks. "Me?"

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"Of course!" she says quickly, nerves skyrocketing. "I'm having a really nice time, and the trip has been really fun! And I'm very grateful to have been invited, and—"

"Tohru."

And it stops her in her tracks, makes her throat run dry—the way that he reaches out and touches the bandage on her cheek. His hand is gentle and steady against the mark that Akito left.

"It's fine," she says. "I can barely feel it most of the time."

"Akito, right?" His eyes are glued to her cheek, words _bitter_.

She didn't want him to know—isn't sure if he was there to see it happen, if someone told him later or if he was kept in the dark. But the intensity of his gaze hides nothing, so she doesn't want to hide anything from him, either.

"Well… yes," she admits. "But it's really not that bad at all! Here, look." And her hands move independent of her ability to think, because she carefully peels the bandage off her face, exposing the scratch. It didn't look too bad when she'd changed the bandage earlier that evening—it's healing quickly and wasn't a deep cut to begin with.

But Kyo sucks in a sharp breath, and something absolutely _furious_ flashes in his eyes.

" _Shit_ , Tohru."

She starts to panic.

"I'm so sorry," she chokes out, and the words feel empty. Tears start to form in her eyes.

"Hey, hey," Kyo's hand finds its way back to her cheek, a bandage no longer separating his touch and the exposed cut. "It's not your fault."

Tohru grabs his wrist, tentative at first, and holds onto him.

"I'm still sorry," she says. "I don't like causing trouble for everyone."

Anger doesn't radiate off of Kyo now—his eyes are only desperate, _helpless_ , as he looks at her. Looks at her scratch. "Feels like it's always the other way around."

"I don't mind!" she says, but she backtracks when Kyo raises an eyebrow at her. "No, I—well, not that I like trouble, or causing problems or upsetting Akito, I just—" she stops to breathe, but she meets his eyes fiercely when she speaks again. "What I mean is… it's worth it. To be here with you all."

All he says is, "If you say so," as he wipes at her tears. He huffs a sigh before a small smile takes over his face.

"You idiot," he adds, quieter.

His thumb rubs slow circles into her skin, and the sensation tingles. She wants to memorize the feeling of his thumb brushing over her cut, and she desperately wants to know why it doesn't sting like she expects it to and only makes her feel flushed inside. His fingers rest a breath away from the corner of her mouth, too close to her lips.

"Kyo-kun."

"Hm?" he says, and it snaps her back to reality, makes her realize that his name spilled out of its own volition—and that his eyes, fixed on her mouth until seconds ago, have flitted back up to her own.

"Nothing." Tohru blinks. "Sorry… I was just saying it."

Kyo laughs. "Okay, weirdo." And Tohru is about to respond, but she quickly loses her train of thought as his thumb moves to her bottom lip.

It's like days and minutes and seconds stop running out. Clouds pass overhead, maybe (she's not paying much attention)—and she watches his face, cast in shadow, as it's lit up by the night sky. She sees the dappled patterns of light and dark on the bridge of his crooked nose, and his flushed cheeks and tiny freckles that are only noticeable from this close up, and his _smile_. And a spark in his eye, like a firework that's just about to flicker out.

_It makes her want to run away—_

He moves his hand away from her face but doesn't break her hold on his wrist. "Look."

"What?" she asks, and then he nods up at the sky.

She's seen meteor showers before on their trip, but shooting stars are _everywhere_ tonight. They ignite the sky, shedding light where it would be pitch-black—falling to earth and surrounding them, specks that feel both small and massive.

Tohru tells herself that it's just the stars—that must be the reason she feels like she can't breathe.

"They're beautiful, Kyo-kun!" she says.

"Mhm."

And when she looks back at Kyo, his eyes aren't fixed on the sky at all. He's just… looking at her.

She doesn't know what to make of that at all, so she decides not to.

"Could we dance?" she asks.

Kyo's face goes bright red.

" _Huh?"_

She lets go of his wrist, terrified—but then something makes her grit her teeth and summon back her courage. "I want—I want to. Dance with you… please, if that's okay!" she spits out.

"That's so. Like." Kyo pauses, shakes his head. "What even gave you a weird idea like that?"

"It's just… it's a little silly, but I remember Mom always talked about how she liked dancing. And she wanted to take me when I was older but we… never got around to it." Kyo's face softens, his jaw relaxing, and she stumbles over her words. "And well, we're leaving tomorrow… and Mom loved the beach, so it made me think of her, and it's—it's a very beautiful night. And I'm here with you right now and… and who knows if we'll ever be here again? Exactly like this, I mean. So I just wanted to… see what it would be like," she finishes awkwardly.

And Kyo, who is an open book to her most days, looks at her with eyes that she can't read at all.

"So you… want to dance. With me?"

Tohru cracks a smile. "You're light enough on your feet to climb on roofs. I'm sure you can handle dancing, Kyo-kun."

He rolls his eyes and stands up with a huff—and she thinks he's going to leave, going to march back to the house without another word. And she'd let him.

But he doesn't walk away.

"You've gotta be kidding me right now," he grumbles, looking pointedly away from her and holding his outstretched hand down to her. She takes it, and she can't help grinning ear to ear as he helps her up.

"Thank you, Kyo-kun! And really, it'll be fun! Maybe you'll like it once you get the hang of it."

Kyo _tries_ to glare at her, but it ends up looking more like an adorable, childish pout.

"I do _not_ dance."

"Dancing and martial arts are pretty similar, y'know," Tohru points out.

"Think you're being a little generous there, dummy."

Kyo leads them farther down the shoreline, less for any apparent reason and maybe just because he's feeling antsy. Tohru follows him anyway, holding his hand tightly.

"They're a _little_ bit similar," she amends. "But I don't do anything even close to dancing, so you'll probably be better at it than I am, Kyo-kun!"

"I guess. You _are_ pretty clumsy."

"Hey!" Tohru says, face heating up as Kyo snorts. She tugs on his hand then, turning him around—and before she can stop herself, she lifts their joined hands up to chest-level and puts her other hand on his shoulder.

It feels foreign and scary, but _nice_ , too. For reasons she can't quite place. It's the proper dance positioning that she's seen in films before—or at least, her best attempt at it. Kyo's eyes are wide, and Tohru knows she's as flushed as he is, but she stares up at him with her bravest face.

"See? Not a disaster yet," she chirps. "No stepped-on toes or anything."

"Yeah, well, no promises," Kyo mumbles, his free hand coming to rest tentatively at the dip of her waist—and she only feels his hand through the fabric of her night shirt, but it still makes her skin itch somehow.

They sway back and forth like that, awkward and unsure as something that isn't exactly time ticks away, passing in units of measurement that are somewhere between years and seconds. Shooting stars collide and crash to earth in the distance, and flashes of light illuminate Kyo's face. Like clockwork, it shows Tohru every time that he stops looking at her—averting his eyes when he's no longer hidden by the darkness.

Connected as they are, there's the unspoken understanding that they can't get too close—right now, tomorrow, ever.

_Not if she can't break the—_

"How'd you know how to do all this complicated stuff if you haven't danced before?" Kyo asks.

"Oh." The distracting thought leaves her as quickly as it came. "I really just knew to put my hand on your shoulder." Tohru giggles. "Is that really complicated?"

"You know what I mean, idiot," he says, but she can feel him relaxing—his tense shoulder beneath her fingers loosening up, his awkward grip on her hand getting gentler, more comfortable.

"Mom really liked watching movies with dancing, and TV shows, too," Tohru says, "so she showed them to me. I guess I picked up a little from that."

She forgets what she was going to say next—because then Kyo lifts up her hand and twirls her around in a slow, clumsy circle. It's awkward and unpracticed, with too many extra steps. Tohru feels dizzy for a million different reasons.

Kyo raises an eyebrow. "How was that, then?"

"It was a really good try!" Tohru says, smiling wide. Head spinning.

He blushes hard. "Yeah, sure," he mutters.

They go back to dancing in silence, slowly falling into a rhythm a bit like two irregular heartbeats. Tohru sneaks stray looks at Kyo's flushed face, staring past her shoulder like he wants to say something.

"Kyo-kun?"

"I just," he blurts out. "It's stupid. But… well, I don't know shit about dancing, but Shishou taught me about constellations sometimes."

"Really?"

"It's stupid."

"Kyo-kun, that's so cool!" Tohru cries, almost jumping up and down as they dance. "I love constellations!"

"God, calm down," Kyo laughs, his hand sliding to the small of her back, and it sends sparks up the length of her spine. "He just taught me some easy ones. Big dipper, little dipper, stuff like that." He squeezes her hand and nods up. "You can see them a bit, if you really look."

"Wow," Tohru breathes—and she can't figure out why, but tonight, she'd much rather look at the starlight on Kyo's face than the stars themselves.

"Mom loved constellations, too," she adds. "My favorite was always Orion and his cats!"

Kyo stares at her.

"Tohru."

"Hm?"

"Those ones are dogs. Not cats."

Tohru's eyes widen in absolute devastation. " _What?"_

"Yeah," and the world _would_ feel like it's ending—but she watches the corners of Kyo's mouth quiver as he tries incrediblyhard not to burst out laughing, and it reduces Tohru to belly-laughter, too.

"Well, if I'm being honest," Tohru says sheepishly through giggles, "I always had a feeling she made things up when she didn't actually know their names."

"You're dumb," Kyo smirks, finally cracking a grin as he laughs.

And after all the confusion and bad memories and heartache the summer has brought, it feels _good_ —to dance like idiots on the beach, to hear Kyo laugh louder than she's ever heard before, to not worry about everything that comes next.

"Leo is a lion, though," Kyo says after they've both caught their breath. "Maybe you'd like that one."

And it's like how she used to feel when she danced around the kitchen with her mom, or when they got up on their apartment building's roof and looked at constellations together. She steps on Kyo's feet and apologizes profusely, and she squeals when he jostles her around in something that resembles a dance move—and she feels so _warm_.

"Do you ever wish on stars, Kyo-kun?"

"Not really."

Tohru squeezes at his hand. "Not ever?" she presses. "Not even when you really want something?"

And usually Kyo's smile could light up a room, so she can't put together why, as he smiles at her now, he looks so sad.

"Just 'cause you really want something doesn't mean it'll happen."

Tohru blinks, feeling cold.

"Oh… yeah, you're probably right," she says quietly, staring at his chest.

"Shit, wait," Kyo says quickly. "I just… never mind. But you like to, right? Wish on stars, I mean. Seems like something you'd do."

She doesn't meet his eyes, still staring at his white undershirt, the top button of his flannel, the skin at his collarbone, the way he'll be gone before she knows it—

"I do," she says.

"Well, what would you wish for, then?"

"No... it's silly to," she says, shaking her head. "Especially when I already have so much to be grateful for." Her grip tightens ever so slightly on his shoulder, cotton sliding against her fingertips. "I don't know. It seems selfish to wish for more."

"Goof," Kyo laughs softly. "That's not selfish. It's okay to want things, y'know."

She meets his eyes again, and the way he looks at her makes her feel like she's twisting inside-out. They're not swaying back and forth anymore, but her heartbeat races faster and faster, and she can feel her palm getting sweaty pressed against his—and she doesn't _need_ to have the right words for it. To know exactly what she'd wish for tonight, if she could ever say it loud enough.

Kyo leans a fraction of an inch closer, and she can't breathe, wants to pull him closer but doesn't know how to in every sense of the word—

"Goddammit," he says.

And then she feels it—tiny raindrops on her hands, then bigger drops on her head, and then it's soaking through her pajamas before she fully processes what's happening.

"Oh... it's raining," she says dumbly.

Kyo snorts and raises her hand again, giving her one last twirl in the storm. Just like that, clouds overtake the last traces of the meteor shower, casting Kyo in shadow again. He lets go of her hand, moving away and starting to slip his shoes back on.

And it's just the two of them again—tiny specks on the beach, nothing more than two people in the dark.

"We should probably head back now," he says awkwardly.

"But we didn't—we still have fireworks left," Tohru says, helpless as they're quickly drenched.

"It's fine… we can do more next summer."

It's like something sinking its claws deep into her back—to know that they're both lying. To see it in his eyes.

"I'm really sorry, Kyo-kun."

"Hey, it's not a big deal," he says, and she feels his knuckles against her forehead. "You're gonna freeze in the rain, though."

He starts to slip his flannel off.

"Kyo-kun, _no_. The rain is way worse for you than me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he says, carefully slipping one sleeve onto her arm and then the other. It's a bit big on her, effectively shielding her from the rain. Her blood runs hot and cold at the same time.

Kyo's undershirt quickly starts to soak through, and she can see the color draining from his face, even though he'd never say anything.

"Let's go home, then," she says quietly.

She gathers up the unlit sparklers in her arms. When Kyo reaches out his hand, she holds on tightly as they walk back to the house. Like she won't be left alone if she can just keep up this time.

Even as the rain pours down, the sky finally starts to brighten into a grey early morning. Dawn breaks on the horizon, leaving 3 a.m. and fireworks sparking and dancing on the beach in the past. It feels like the moment coming to a close, a neat and tidy ending to a precious memory.

One that she doesn't want to end, she realizes.

_Precious—_

"Kyo-kun?"

"Yeah?"

Tohru doesn't understand the ache she feels in her chest. She tries to ignore it, stomp it out, put it out like a sparkler on a rainy beach.

"I had a really nice time tonight."

Kyo laughs softly, eyes fixed straight ahead as he leads them down the path.

"Yeah… me too," he says, squeezing her hand.

Something makes Tohru think of the stars. The wishes she couldn't bring herself to say, out loud or even just to herself. She hopes that she'll get to watch the stars again someday, maybe with someone by her side, and not be so terrified to ask for what she wants.

She squeezes Kyo's hand back—and she prays that she'll get another chance to make her wish. Before it's too late.

* * *

 _if you leave  
_ _when i go  
_ _find me_  
 _in the shallows,  
_ _in the shallows_

**Author's Note:**

> i finished writing this and realized that perhaps i projected my vague distrust of fireworks onto kyo…..and also my vague desire to dance in the rain on the beach with someone pls…..whoops <3 hoping to update inertia as soon as possible, but i’ve been wanting to get this out of my system for awhile and it just popped out…...anyways i hope this made you all smile!!
> 
> i’m on [tumblr](https://lesbian-kyoru.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/miss_coverly)!! come scream with me xoxo
> 
> if you'd like to [reblog](https://lesbian-kyoru.tumblr.com/post/638798501829033984/watching-stars-collide-misscoverly-fruits) or [retweet](https://twitter.com/miss_coverly/status/1343733825709486082?s=20) <3


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